May 15 2023
I really just want things to go alright in my life, that's all! It's not much to ask for, is it? There are probably people asking for a mansion, or an expensive car, or whatever, but I just want to be okay. I'm not trying to diss on those people asking for expensive stuff, either.
All I want is a nice little house with a reliable car and a job that pays pretty well. But I'm kind of afraid of my life becoming monotonous; go to work, come home, do whatever, sleep, repeat. Hey, maybe that's what this website is here for? I imagine I might end up really wanting to go back to the past.
Anyways, I feel kind of... you know it. I've said it an uncountable amount of times. I feel pretty darn stupid for my opinions. What opinions? Well, one of them is I'm not very fond of 4chan. I'm not furious at it or anything, I just think it's kind of dumb. The memes and jokes on there I think are pretty dumb.
I think whenever I see or hear at an "offensive" joke, it's not even the joke that bothers me. I never get "furious" at the jokes, hell I quickly forget them afterwards, unless I want to write about how me not enjoying them makes me feel stupid. I think I just get a little annoyed at the person saying it, but I never think they're racist or homophobic or anything. I guess I just immediately stereotype them or something.
And they all seem so much more smarter... the "4chan people" (for lack of better term) just seem way smarter than I am. And they enjoy the jokes I don't, so it's like there's some sort connection between intelligence and those jokes, however offensive they may be.
I think I felt like a lot of people would dislike me for these thoughts, opinions and feelings I have. But I once thought of something: does it really matter if everyone hates me as long as my family and friends like me? As long as my family loves me, y'know? My friends know me beyond my thoughts, opinions, and feelings, and they probably think I'm pretty cool.
Man, I think I felt a bittersweet feeling while writing about how as long as my family and friends like me, it doesn't matter if others may hate me. I was listening to a nice song, too, so that probably factored in.
Still... I just feel so dumb, man. It really sucks, it really does. It kind of hurts. Makes me feel lesser, like my opinions are stupid. But that one person who commented on my profile said not to sweat having different opinions. I guess I'll take their advice.
I guess I'm just an average dude who honestly probably doesn't know much. I mean, everyone on this site is like a rocket scientist. What do I know?
I guess this journal entry was alright. I think I feel kind of sad.