August 21 2023
It's been a while, hasn't it? I haven't completely forgotten about this website. I've picked up some good habits lately, like brushing my teeth (I know, gross that I used to not brush my teeth, but NOW I brush them) and reading. I've been reading this book my older brother gave me. It's called "Rich Dad Poor Dad" by Robert T. Kiyosaki.
It's pretty much how to be wealthy, or at least financially stable. It talks about buying assets, not liabilities or assets that you think are liabilities. It states that houses are really liabilities. I've never heard someone call a house an asset, so I wasn't able to be surprised by this. It doesn't say to not buy a house, though. I guess just build up enough assets to fund the expenses for that house, like the mortgage and stuff like that. I've been reading it almost every night; sometimes I don't. I'm on page 100-something right now, but I didn't go through the introduction, I simply started on Chapter 1, so I haven't really read 100-something pages.
I don't think I'm interested in owning a business. I think I'm fine with a regular 9-5 job, as long as it's a job that I want, which would be something like an Environmental Scientist. Even better, an Air Pollution Analyst. I can still follow the advice of the book and just own assets while working that job. I'm pretty sure even the book says that if you don't have any desire to own a company, keep your day job and just buy assets. Why did I say "pretty sure"? It literally says that in the book, doesn't it?
Well, anyways, I've been feeling okay lately, I guess. Not bad, but probably not amazing either. Before I started writing this entry, I was feeling angry and like a loser. I even had the idea of hurting a future girlfriend, verbally. It wasn't just a daydream, I felt like I could actually do that. Now, that's settled down. But before that, I felt like I had no ability to give advice to anyone. It always seems like everyone can give advice while I can't help anyone. Helping people isn't really a life purpose or goal for me, but I like the idea of being able to offer help to someone.
So I started ranting while staining wood at one of my dad's rental houses. He needed my help to stain some casings and such. While I'm on the topic, I've also been painting a deck at another one of his houses. I enjoy it, I like painting parts of houses. Painting a door makes it look clean, and I guess it's satisfying to see stuff like doors, frames, and railings to have a clean, even layer of color over them.
But anyways, once I got home after staining wood there, I felt like such a loser. I don't know why, I just felt like a loser. I wanted to type here and say "wherever these 'loser feelings' are coming from, they need to fuck off". I felt really negative. I also felt like nothing was going to work out in my life, and that scared me. I think it also angered me, too.
I feel like it's a bit unfair and sad that negative people get left behind for more positive people. I guess the people who leave said negative people feel bad for doing so, but feel like they gotta save themselves from negativity. Oh, and when I say negative people, I mean people who feel sad a lot and/or are self-deprecating. I don't mean "toxic" people.
New Blank Banshee release, by the way!